There is no toe cleavage. Check! Heels with chunks. Check! Heel height is low. Check! Toes with a rounded toe and a square toe. Check! Yes, all of these elements combine to form the aptly named grandma shoes. Granny shoes, whether you like them or not, are one of the current Spring 2016 shoe trends that are difficult to ignore.
Let’s talk about it…
So, old lady shoes aren’t exactly new. Chanel’s black cap-toe sling-backs have been spotted on the concrete runways by fashion editors and bloggers alike. (If you’re looking for a good dupe, this is a good one.) Last year, there were a few instances of homely Maison Margiela-esque pumps popping up here and there. Not to mention Ferragamo’s “Vara.” Ick.
I debated moving this article to the ugly shoes section of the shoe blog, but it’s too much of a growing trend not to include it. And it has certainly reached the pinnacle of its popularity. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part.
With various fast fashion brands creating their own equally dreadful versions (image above from Topshop – $132), using Lanvin’s ballerina pumps as a jumping off point (right below – $595), my point has been proven.
These old lady shoes are similar to ballerina flats with an elastic opening (which have no appeal to begin with) but with a stumpy heel. And, while I adore a good blocky heel, these trendy shoes lose their quasi-sexy chic factor when combined with the other more “homely” footwear elements mentioned above.
But that’s just the Italian-shoe-designer-obsessed me talking.
Looking fuddy duddy-esque is apparently all the rage, and it’s the look that cool fashion IT girls want. And with a very French laisse faire, don’t-need-to-please-anyone attitude, these will be difficult to pull off for anyone other than a purebred Parisian goddess. Or those who are simply too beautiful and believe their beauty must be diminished by their footwear. Because, you know, nothing emphasizes our coolness more than doing everything we can to pretend we aren’t!
I mean, I understand your anguish, dear readers. We must sometimes choose not to shine. Allow our radiance to fade. Or, in other words, whatever you want to call it. I completely understand. And this trendy shoe is certainly capable of accomplishing that goal.
So, if you’re one of these tall, drop dead gorgeous ladies who just needs grandma’s shoes, here are the “greatest” (by that, of course, I mean least appealing) picks for Spring 2016. Yes, I know what you mean: grandma would be pleased. I believe.
But, on second thought, not all of these old lady shoes are all that bad. They’re not entirely geriatric in terms of quality. I’m sure we’ve all seen worse. However, that isn’t saying much.
So I’ve divided this post into two sections: hard core granny shoes (extra ugly points if you choose the white or tan versions!) and less evil versions. You know, the kind of thing that some of us might consider wearing. Maybe I’ve become numb to the blandness of these shoes after researching this post and looking at so many of them!? You inform me!
>>> See more:
1. Grandma Shoes: The Real Deal
3 Taryn Rose
I think I’d scare my neighbors if I wore these shoes to Grandma’s house. However, I lack the leg height and svelteness to pull them off (not to mention the high end designer handbag and perfectly tailored coat required to divert one’s gaze).
However, because the idea of a lower, larger heel and a comfy slipper-like upper does sound appealing, I have also chosen some less-ugly options to suit the less-ugly victims of fashion, which are listed below. You’ll notice that I’ve added my own reasoning for why this choice isn’t so bad!
2. Grandma Shoes with (some) Appeal
1. Chloé: the extra heel height & metallic detail gives it an edge
2. Christian Louboutin: studs & extra toe cleavage anyone?
3. Zara: just not so bad in flats: homeliness expected
4. Prada from Neiman Marcus: so retro looking, it’s pretty much vintage
5. Chloé: scalloped detailing steals the show
6. Aquazzura: Red, patent & strappy. Need I say more?
Blame it on a higher heel, a lower vamp (translation: shows toe cleavage! ), an interesting detail, or a retro MOD feel, but some of Grandma’s shoes are more ‘wearable’ for the less-than-supermodel-status woman. For example, I’m drawn to the grey suede pump below ($119) from Shoes in Italy because of its thinner heel and metallic detailing.
It’s no coincidence that the majority of the above are high-end designer styles. Then again, Lanvin created the worst of the bunch, so perhaps it is!
What’s your opinion on granny shoes? Would you ever put them on?
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